ostracizedpoodle:

wanna make your girl feel special? sacrifice her

(via bewbin)

i try not to sound like an asshole but it’s really hard because i am an asshole

(Source: deluminator, via be-my-escapexo)

i hate that im sensitive and jealous and stupid and ugly and annoying 

(Source: cybergirlfriend, via toosweetlizzy)

mom : did you eat all the donuts

me : no

mom : why are you lying to me i can see all the powder on your pants

me : thats cocaine

zackisontumblr:

you know a text post has made it to the big time when it gets stolen by twitter parody accounts

(via nbaum)